The World's (Un)Luckiest Man

No one likes having an unlucky day, but how about being unlucky yet lucky all your life? A Croatian music teacher, Frane Selak has such a life. Almost every year other year he would be involved in an accident, really unlucky. The lucky thing is he survives every single one of them and only suffer minor cuts and injuries. Here is a list of unlucky incidents happened to him, for more detail you can read here.

1962, Selak was traveling from Sarajevo to Dubrovnik by train. The train carrying Selak jumped the tracks and plunged into an icy river, killing 17 passengers.
1963, he was on a plane traveling from Zagreb to Rijeka when a door blew off the plane and he was ****ed out of the aircraft. A few minutes later the plane crashed; 19 people were killed.
1966, he was riding on a bus that went off the road and into a river. Four people were killed.
1970, he was driving along when his car suddenly caught fire. He managed to stop and get out just before the fuel tank exploded and engulfed the car in flames.
1973, a faulty fuel pump sprayed gas all over the engine of another of Selak’s car while he was driving it, blowing flames through the air vents.
1995, he was hit by a city bus in Zagreb.
1996, he was driving on a mountain road when he turned a corner and saw a truck coming straight at him. He drove the car through a guardrail, jumped out, landed in a tree - and watched his car explode 300 feet below.

However..
In June 2003, at the age of 74, Selak bought his first lottery ticket in 40 years and won more than $1 million. "I am going to enjoy my life now," he said. "I feel like I have been reborn. I know God was watching over me all these years."

What a life. He's truly the luckiest man on Earth. Oh! only to a certain extend :)

UN Survey

The UN conducted a worldwide survey.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solution to the food
shortage in the rest of the World?"

The survey was a huge failure,

In the Africa they didn't know what "Food " meant,

In India, they didn't know what 'honest' meant,

In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant'

In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,

In the Middle East, they didn't know what 'solution' meant

In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,

And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant !

Interesting equations

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Pigs = eat + sleep

Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy

If, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work

In other words,

Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Pigs = eat + sleep

Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money

If Men - earn money = Pigs

In other words,

Men that don't earn money = Pigs

Women = eat + sleep + spend

Pigs = eat + sleep

Hence, Women = Pigs + spend

If, Women - spend = Pigs

In other words,

Women that don't spend = Pigs

Summary:

Men earn money not to let women become pigs!

Women spend not to let men become pigs!

Men + Women = 2 Pigs

Wish all the pigs to be happy forever

What we work for

Son: "Daddy, may I ask you a question"

Daddy: "Yeah sure, what it is?"

Son: "Dad, how much do you make an hour"

Daddy: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"

Son: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

Daddy: "I make Rs. 500 an hour"

"Oh", the little boy replied, with his head down.

Looking up, he said, "Dad, may I please borrow Rs. 300?"

The father was furious, "if the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or other nonsense, then march yourself to your room and go to bed.

Think why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior"

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.

How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:

"May be there was something he really needed to buy with that

Rs. 300 and he really didn't ask for money very often!"

The man went to the door of little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you a! sleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, may be I was too hard on you earlier", said the man,

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.

Here's the Rs.300 you asked for"

The little boy sat straight up, smiling "oh thank you dad!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled some crippled up notes.

The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy I have Rs. 500 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you"

MORAL OF THE STORY

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.

! We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.

But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family....

Some Rules that Newton forgot to mention

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.